Terry Pratchett Read online

  ‘We are learning short cuts but there’s always more that can be done.’

  Terry Pratchett

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  A Note About Cats

  ‘Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.’

  Robert A Heinlein

  It seems that with every passing year we lose some of the fun side of Terry Pratchett. Newspaper columns and TV shows debate his stance on assisted death and Alzheimer’s, and because this is a vast and important set of issues to discuss, that’s where we find Terry Pratchett’s energy spent today and we empathise. Most Pratchett fans try to remain upbeat, so I decided to finish the main part of this book with a short chapter about one of Pratchett’s most favourite things: cats.

  Pratchett likes cats. They have been a major part of his household for over 35 years. In a 2011 article about a special attraction he was opening at the Chelsea Flower Show, the author is pictured humorously in his garden with a black cat, and that affection has translated into his work.

  In February 2006 Pratchett told Your Cat magazine that his collection of cats was formed by accident (there were six at that time). The Pratchett family understands cats and their needs, and the author was quick to make this clear during the interview. He states that in his house there is always a bowl to be filled or a door to be opened. In conversation, Pratchett will explain that one of his cats, Genghis, will sit on your lap only if it fits in with his programme. Of course, this applies to all cats, and humans either like it or hate it – most love it!

  Pratchett has an office cat called Patch, who sits in his drawer and lays back and stretches out his paws when he needs affection. Pratchett accidentally locked the cat in the drawer once, but Patch didn’t seem to mind too much.

  ‘Style. Beauty. Grace. That’s what matters. If cats looked like frogs we’d realise what nasty, cruel little bastards they are.’

  (Lords and Ladies)

  Cats feature heavily in two books in Pratchett’s back catalogue – in one, perhaps, in a less serious way than in the other. The Unadulterated Cat (illustrated by Gray Jolliffe) is a stream of anecdotes that will please cat lovers everywhere, and perhaps amuse the not-so-cat-stricken too through its excellent artwork. The second book is The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, a Discworld title for younger readers. The plot of The Amazing Maurice is basically The Pied Piper. Maurice (a cat) leads a group of educated rats from town to town and stages a plague, which a human accomplice thwarts and they all get paid for. The rats ultimately want to live in harmony with human beings, but there is a fraternity of rodents who want to build their own super-race. The plot twists and turns and one can detect some big issues being raised, such as racism, discrimination and sectarianism. All that in a children’s book, but again, it’s there if you want to look for it – many people do, and discuss some of the nuances with their children as they grow up.

  The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents won the Carnegie Medal in 2001, providing Pratchett with his first major award. The book was dramatised for BBC Radio 4 in 2003, the character Dangerous Beans being voiced by David Tennant. It’s a vastly different book in the Discworld series but still as ingenious and complex as his more adult titles. One could argue that you will like and appreciate the novel only if you like cats in the first place, but it has endeared itself to Discworld readers and has been a very popular title over the years.

  ‘In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.’

  Terry Pratchett

  Cats have an important place in history for certain races, and their influence is equally strong in the fantasy genre. Witness Puss in Boots, Kipling’s ‘The Cat That Walked by Himself’ and the Cheshire Cat from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. All of these felines are exceptionally smart and courageous. In the science fiction TV show Red Dwarf, the cat is slick and one step ahead of the rest of his crew mates. Unlike the orangutans we met earlier, cats get a good deal when it comes to their role in fiction. The reason for this is a simple one: there are many writers who like them.

  ‘Cats have no sense of humour, they have terribly inflated egos, and they are very touchy.’

  Robert A Heinlein (The Door into Summer)

  ANNEX A

  Pratchett on Screen

  What follows is a guide to the major movies and TV series based on Terry Pratchett’s work, including cast lists and short reviews of the features. On the whole, the movies based on Pratchett’s work are well received. He also takes some part in them, tinkering with the script or having a Hitchcock-like cameo role.

  TRUCKERS (TV)

  Release date: 1992

  Director: Jackie Cockle, Chris Taylor and Francis Vose Screenplay: Brian Trueman

  Cast:

  Maskin (voice) Joe McGann, Grimma (voice) Debra Gillett, Granma Morie/Baroness of Delicacy (voice) Rosaline Williams, Tom/Count of Hardware (voice) John Jardine, The Thing (voice) Edward Kelsey, Angelo (voice) Nigel Carrington, Duke (voice) David Scase, Dorcas/additional voices (voice) Brian Trueman, The Abbot (voice) Michael Hordern, Gurder (voice) Brian Southwood, Vinto Pimmie/additional voices (voice) Jimmy Hibbert.

  Crew: Producers Brian Crossgrove, Mark Hall, Music Colin Towns, Cinematography Jerry Andrews, Mark Stewart, Animation Paul Berry, Paul Couvela, Andrea Lord, Lloyd Price, Sue Pugh, Stuart Sutcliffe.

  Cosgrove Halls Films, Thames Television

  A largely forgotten stop-motion animation, lovingly made but rarely seen. The voices are great and the animation extremely good too. A perfect Sunday morning film for children.

  WYRD SISTERS (TV)

  Release date: 1997

  Produced and directed: Jean Flynn

  Cast:

  Death Christopher Lee, Magrat Jane Horrocks, Nanny Ogg June Whitfield, Granny Weatherwax Annette Crosbie, Duchess Felmet Eleanor Bron, The Fool/Tomjon Les Dennis, Additional voices of unspecified characters Andy Hockley, David Holt, Jimmy Hibbert, Rob Rackstraw, Melissa Sinden, Taff Girdlestone.

  Crew:

  Executive producer Mark Hall, Associate producer for Carrington Productions International Craig Hemmings, Music Keith Hopwood and Phil Bush, Production manager Laura Cosgrove, Digital colour designers Joan Jones, Jackie Mitchell, Background designer/character designer Steve Maher, Background designers John Millington, Peter Hiller, Margaret Riley, Max Doig, Animation director John Offord, Animator Stewart Selkirk, Animation character developers Johnathan Webb, Alistair Fell, Technical coordinator Phil Atack, Pre-production assistant Nicola Davies, Production assistant Hilary Downs, Production controller Phil Slattery, Animo special effects Peter Kidd, Silicon Graphics special effects Colin Ralph, Storyboards.

  Backgrounds, layouts: Cartoon Production SL and Milimetros SA Audio post-production: Hullaballoo Studios

  Digital picture edit: Flix Facilities

  Title sequence: Editz

  Perhaps the least impressive adaptation of a Pratchett novel. The story content is fine but the graphics look a little washed out and lack detail. Good for the younger viewers who, in fairness, are its target market, but not a classic by any stretch of the imagination.

  SOUL MUSIC (TV)

  Release date: 1997

  Produced and directed: Jean Flynn

  Cast:

  Death (voice) Christopher Lee, Mustrum Ridcully (voice) Graham Crowden, Impy y Celyn (voice) Andy Hockley, Mort (voice) Neil Morrissey, Asphalt (voice) Bernard Wrigley, Susan Sto Helit (voice) Debra Gillett, Albert (voice) Bryan Pringle, Voices for uncredited characters Rosaline Scale, Jimmy Hibbert, Rob Rackstraw, George Harris, John Jardine, Maggie Fox, David Holt, Melissa Sinden.

  Crew:

  Executive producer Mark Hall, Associate producer for Carrington Productions International Craig Hemmings, Music Keith Hopwood, Phil Bush, Production manager Laura Crossgrove, Storyboard artists Andy James, Wayne Thomas, Digital painters Carla Abraham, Althea Deane, Marie Dembinski, Sue Halliwell, Christine Kershaw, Digital compositors Peter Kidd, Wendy Senior, Scanner and d
igital colouring Jackie Mitchell, Joan Jones, Jenni Roberts, Silicon Graphic designer Colin Ralph, Assistant animators Carla Abraham, David Aldred, Toni Andronlino, Les Brookshank, David Brown, Mike Coles, Althea Deane, Karen Heywood, Nicola Marlborough, Judy Pilsbury, Rhian Rushton, Bill Tapp, Don Walsh, Key animators Garry Andrews, Simon Bradbury, Robert Brown, Mark Burnell, Meryl Edge, Roy Evans, Chris Fenna, Claire Grey, Ken Hayes, Steve John, Mark Lewis, Les Orton, Garry Owen, Mike Price, Mair Thomas, Layout artists Sam Bailey, Tom Bailey, Background designers Max Doig, Peter Hiller, Steve Maher, John Millington, Animation character developers Alistair Fell, Jonathan Webb, Background artists Paul Harrison, Mike Hill, Graham Howells, Jimmy Lawlor, Character designer Steve Maher, Animation coordinator Roy Huckerby, Technical coordinator Phil Atack, Pre-production assistant Nicola Davies, Production assistant Hilary Downs, Production controller Phil Slattery.

  Edited: Delixe

  Length: 159 minutes

  More rock music than soul music. An enjoyable romp through the Discworld. A little bit more boisterous than Wyrd Sisters but still a very enjoyable animated movie, especially for people not acquainted with the Discworld series.

  JOHNNY AND THE BOMB (TV)

  Release date: 2006

  Director: Dermot Boyd

  Screenplay: Peter Tabern

  Cast:

  Carol Maxwell Samantha Seager, Mildred Seeley Felicity Montagu, Home Guard Ray Brandon, PC Gallagher Anthony Bowers, Mrs Tachyon Zoe Wanamaker, Bigmac Scott Kay, Yo-Less Lucien Laviscount, Johnny Maxwell George MacKay, Wobbler Kyle Herbert, Tom Maxwell Frank Finlay, Kirsty Jazmine Franks, Staff Nurse Sally Sheridan, Rose Bushell Holliday Granger, Mrs Wilkinson Beatrice Kelley, Councillor Seeley John Henshaw, Dr Harris William Beck, Sgt Burke Paul Copley, Hickson Howard Gay, Sir Walter Keith Barron, Stage Manager John Axon, Young Tom Maxwell Matthew Beard, Old Man David Williams, Mrs Bushell Siobhan Finneran, PC Collingwood Patrick Connolly, Lynn Partridge Maxine Burth, Mrs Bushell Eamon Riley.

  Crew:

  Line producer Anne Boyd, Executive producer John East, Producer Peter Tabern, Music Debbie Wiseman, Cinematography Nick Dance, Film editing Matthew Tabern, Jamie Trevill, Casting Michelle Smith, Suzanne Smith, Production design Jason Carlin, Art director Paul Drake, Costume design Jakki Winfield, Make-up Sallie Adams, First assistant director Alexander Gibb, Second assistant director Roger Thomas, Construction manager David Feeney, Production buyers Debbie Moles, Rebecca Moles, Property master Steve Parnell, Sound trainee Philip Clements, Dialogue editor Miriam Ludbrook, Sound assistant Adam Margetts, Dialogue editor Zak Melemendjian, Dubbing assistant Emma Pegram, Dubbing editor Jeremy Price, Dubbing mixer Andrew Stirk, Sound recordist Mervyn Gerrard, Foley artist Philip Meehan, Title design and digital effects Martin Ashford, Leigh Wimpory, Stunt performer Michael Byrch, Stunt coordinator Trevor Steedman, Focus puller Andrew Barnwell, Grip Matthew Budd, Best boy Peter Marshall, Cinematographer special effects Ben Philpott, Daily focus puller Christopher J Reynolds, Gaffer Alex Scott, Costume supervisor John Dunn, Online editor Marc Eskenazi, Post-production coordinator Rebecca Nazareth, Colourist Jamie Wilkinson, Location manager Chris Hill, Script supervisor Jane Jackson, Production accountant Gill Lester, Production coordinator Rebecca Pope.

  Childsplay Productions

  BBC

  Length: 120 minutes (three parts)

  Johnny and the Bomb was the perfect book for BBC Children’s TV. The screenplay blended action and historical fact to make an informative but captivating children’s drama. The young actors involved played their parts well. They are not exhilarated at being transported back to the Blitz; they are scared. They became even more scared when they return to the present day and find that the ‘good’ they did back in the past has had huge repercussions. Like the book, the film works on many different levels and provides quality entertainment for young and old alike.

  JOHNNY AND THE DEAD (TV)

  Release date: 2006

  Director: Gerald Fox

  Screenplay: Gerald Fox, Lindsey Jenkins

  Cast:

  Johnny Maxwell Andrew Falvey, Yo-Less Jonathan Annan, Big Mac Paul Child, Wobbler Charlie Watts, Wobbler Joseph Watts, Alderman George Baker, William ‘Bill’ Stickers Brian Blessed, Mrs Sylvia Liberty Jane Lapotaire, Antonio Vincenti John Grillo, Addison Fletcher Geoffrey Whitehead, Solomon Einstein Harry Landis, Boatman Roy Ellis, First Thug Tony Westrope, Second Thug Shend, Stanley ‘Wrong Way’ Roundway Neil Morphew.

  Crew:

  Executive producer Melvyn Bragg, Casting Janie Frazer, Art department Terry Jones, Casting assistant Stephanie Dawes.

  Another excellent interpretation of a Johnny Maxwell novel, with an excellent supporting cast including the humorous Brian Blessed. Because Pratchett always tries to be around a production, the interpretations of his books always seem to be worthwhile and complementary to his broader work, which is a rare thing.

  HOGFATHER (TV)

  Release date: 2006

  Director: Vadim Jean

  Adapted by: Vadim Jean

  Cast:

  Albert David Jason, Teatime Marc Warren, Susan/Death of Rats Michelle Dockery, Lord Downey David Warner, Vernon Crumley Tony Robinson, Mr Sideney Nigel Planer, Medium Dave Peter Guinness, Banjo Stephen Marcus, Chickenwire Craig Conway, Bilious Rhodri Meilir, Violet Sinead Matthews, Death/Narrator (voice) Ian Richardson, Quoth the Raven (voice) Neil Pearson, Corporal Nobbs Nicholas Tennant, Constable Visit Richard Katz, Ponder Stibbons Ed Coleman, Mr Brown Geoffrey Hutchings, The Dean John Franklyn-Robbins, The Bursar Roger Frost, Lecturer in Recent Runes Timothy Bateson, Chair of Indefinite Studies John Boswall, Death Marnix Van Den Broeke, Ernie the Cart Driver Arthur White, Mr Gaiter Robert Portal, Mrs Gaiter Deborah Winckles, Twyla Madeleine Rakic-Platt, Gawain Hugo Altman, Tooth Fairy/Bogey Man Bridget Turner, Pixie Helper Gregor Henderson-Begg, Modo Trevor Jones, Student Wizard James Mellor, Bobble Hat Child Martha Katz, Bobble Hat Child’s Mother Rachel Edwards, Grotto Hogfather Dominic Borrelli, Guest 1 Jon Ridgeon, Hogfather Shend, Young Albert Fox Jackson-Keen, Slimazel the Bogeyman Don Wetherhead, Carter John Cartier, Toothguard 1 John Warman, Toothguard 7 Tim Plester, Auditor 1 Peter Holdway, Auditor 2 Andre LaMotte, Auditor 3 Adam Marvel, Auditor 4 Andrew Swain, Additional voices (voice) Andy Robb, Verruca Gnome/Hair Loss Fairy Danny Da Costa, Ma Lillywhite Maggie McCarthy, Small Boy Aaron Barker, Small Boy’s Sister Lydia Altman, The Toymaker Terry Pratchett, Mustrum Ridcully Joss Ackland, Washerwoman (uncredited) Diane Leach.

  Crew:

  Producer Rod Brown, Line producer Sean Glynn, Executive producers Robert Halmi Jr, Robert Halmi Sr, Post-production producer Shaun Nickless, Executive producer Elaine Pyke, Producer Ian Sharples, Original music David A Hughes, Cinematography Gavin Finney, Jan Pester, Film editing Joe McNally, Casting Emma Style, Production design Ricky Eyres, Art direction Michael Kelm, Costume design Jane Spicer, Prosthetics technician Kristyan Mallett, Prosthetic make-up artist Simon Webber, Assistant director: second unit Adam Coop, Assistant director Peter Freeman, Additional third assistant director Alex Kaye-Besley, Second assistant director Paul Morris, Storyboard artists Sav Akyuz, David Allcock, Art department Jo Sansom, Hod painter Adrian Start, Props Keith Stevenson, Illustrator Milena Zdravkovic, Carpenter John Allen, Stand-by props Stephen Conway, Illustrator Warren Flanagan, Prop modeller Simon Gosling, Property master Ray McNeill, Construction manager Brian Neighbour, Stand-by props Stuart Read, Chargehand dressing prop Mark Reynolds, Sound re-recording mixer Chris MacLean, Foley artist Nigel Manington, Boom operator Richard Miller, Sound recordist Henry Milliner, Sound editor Chris Southwell, Sound trainee Tom Turner, Special effects technician Alistair Anderson, Special effects floor supervisor Alexander Gunn, Special effects senior technician Jody Taylor, Snow effects technicians Oliver Guy-Watkins, David Johns, Special effects contact lenses Clive R Kay, Special effects make-up Paul McGuinness, Snow effects floor supervisor Martin ‘Marty’ McLaughlin, Special effects supervisor David Payne, Snow technician James Payton, Prosthetic make-up artist Robin Pritchard, Digital composi
tors Kamilla Bak, Reuben Barkataki, Render wrangler Amit Desai, Render wrangler: MPC Jonathan East, Visual effects colourist Max Horton, Digital compositor: MPC Viv Jim, Senior animation supervisor Stephen Jolley, Matchmove artist Owen Jones, Matchmove artist: MPC Peng Ke, Character technical director Angela Magrath, Simulation technical director Greg Massie, Render wrangler: MPC Alan McCabe, Texture artist: MPC David Basalla, Data operative Marlin McGlone, Matte painter Joseph McLamb, Digital artist Paul McWilliams, Visual effects producer Oliver Money, Digital colourist Rob Pizzey, Digital compositor Becky Porter, Character technical director: MPC Sagar Rathod, Matchmove coordinator Becky Roberts, Roto/prep Becky Roberts, Digital compositor: MPC James Russell, Digital artist Anthony Bloor, Character technical director Laurel A Smith, Digital compositing supervisor Kim Stevenson, Digital compositor: MPC Giuseppe Tagliavini, Lead texture artist Kim Taylor, Matte painter Kim Taylor, Visual effects supervisor Simon Thomas, Visual effects coordinator Shanaullah Umerji, Digital artist Daniel Walton, Render wrangler: MPC Chris Wilson, Assistant digital resource manager: MPC Oliver Winwood, Digital artist Joel Bodin, Matchmove artist: MPC Anna Yamazoe, Systems: MPC (uncredited) Martyn Drake, Data operator (uncredited) Dan Warder, Animator Steve James Brown, Senior digital compositor Loraine Cooper, Visual effects assistant producer Paula Da Costa, Lighting supervisor Christophe Damiano, Roto/prep artist: MPC Luan Davis, Stunts Andy Butcher, Stunt coordinator Abbi Collins, Stunt performer Paul Kennington, Focus puller: ‘B’ camera Mark Barrs, Trainee grip Emmet Cahill, Camera operator: ‘A’ camera Sean Savage, Focus puller: ‘A’ camera and Steadicam Iain Struthers, Electrician Thomas Thomas, Video assist operator David Toft, Camera trainee: ‘B’ camera Jaimz Williams, Video assist: dailies (uncredited) Peter Hodgson, Electrician Wailoon Chung, Key grip Pat Garrett, Camera trainee Brian Greenway, Assistant camera Alice Hobden, Still photographer Bill Kaye, Camera operator Vince McGahon, Second camera assistant: ‘B’ camera, Second unit Mark Nutkins, Best boy floor Terry Robb, Daily costume assistant Samantha Cousins, Costume assistant Marco de Magalhaes, Costume assistant Yvonne Duckett, Costume supervisor Louise Egan, Assistant costume designer Amanda Keable, Digital intermediate director of production Matt Adams, Senior digital film editor Rob Gordon, Digital intermediate manager Paul Jones, Assistant editor Doug Newman, Composer: additional music Paul E Francis, Runner driver Lucy Eldridge, Post-production accountant Alex Chapman, Key floor runner Graham Cox, Script supervisor Amanda Lean, Location manager Helene Lenszner, Assistant location manager Amy McCombe, Production secretary Jessica Read, Production accountant Rachel Quigley Smith.